Chantel
12 February
NHHS 210'07 :D, 411

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Mmm, how am I supposed to feel now?

I think there's something wrong with the 'feelings' part inside me, I guess it got too exhausted for the pass few weeks or months that now, I don't even know how I'm supposed to react to things around me. I hope it's just the start of immunity. I wished I'm really voided of feelings. I guess I'm just torn between crying and hurting. I'm shell-shocked about what I found out today.
And I still can't believe I'm a different person to you. I'm sure that I know myself better. I know I didn't change since I've known you, so I guess you just didn't see the side of me that you only came to know recently.
It's just me, open your eyes wider. Your eyes are obscured with excuses and perceptions.

I shall find a way to channel the hurt into productive mugging. I bet I will turn into a genius.

P.S. And Shirlyn Koh, I love you a lot BFF. Thanks for being there for me, thanks for the letter and pretty box today. Don't feel like an idiot when you're watching me cry. I'm ok.

I will get over, don't worry k.
Thanks for making me 'xiang tong'. :D

Hiatus time.
Damn it.

"There should be a statute of limitation on grief. A rule book that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after 42 days you will no longer turn with your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name. That there will be no fine imposed if you feel the need to clean out her desk; take down her artwork from the refrigerator; turn over a school potrait as you pass - if only because it cuts you fresh again to see it. That it is okay to measure the time she has been gone, the way we once measured her birthdays."
- Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

Kind of sad. :( And I really wish there was a statute of limitation on hurt. That I can wake up crying, but only for a month.

It hurts the most when the person who you expected to know you the best, said he doesn't know you anymore.